forty plus rooms busy.
It's been interesting, and certainly more handsome, what with the eye candy provided to me by the added bodies.
It's also been stupid.
Tonight was Valentines, in case you missed all that getting shoved down your throat.
Tonight was also Single People Fucking Strangers night, with a side order of "We Still Live At Home and Mom and Pop Wouldn't Appreciate The Bondage Scenes"
I'm running behind on paperwork, and I still have to find bleach, but I wanted to drop this little token of awesome on y'all.
1. Around 12am, Douchebag One whips it out in an attempt to 'lure' me to his room. I tell him I can't see something that small without my glasses and I left those at home tonight.
2. Ten minutes later, Douchebag Two (his friend) offers his junk. With a red bow, which made me laugh, because I give points for courage. And the bow looked pretty too. I politely declined and he went away too.
3. One of the regulars. The words I have to describe the hilarity, involving him and the beers that broke and the fact he's probably old enough to be my father... sigh. I'm waiting for him to wake up and apologise. Or blush, either way.
4. Douchebag One, round two. This time, a girl was with him. In the hallway directly beside my desk, where I was doing my audit. BLEACH IS NEEDED.
5. Douchebag One again. Seriously, I have looked at this kid's junk unwillingly so much tonight I want to charge his penis a fine. At least that time was outside. I locked the front doors on the two of them. Abuse of power, yes. Hilarious, absolutely.
1. Douchebag Two's 'girlfriend' decided to show me what was going to be plundered. Willingly lifted her 'skirt' up. I have no words. I laughed at her and told her to have a good night.
2. Unintentional, when Douchebag One and his 'girl' were in the hallway. Full vag shot, my eyes are burned. She is not a natural blonde, though.
3. Douchebag Ones 'girl', outside. She is the point and a half too, because I saw it, and then saw parts of it, and this post just got really creepy and makes it seem like I was trying to look for the poon. I WASN'T, GUYS.
Happened when one of my regulars was walking, drunkenly, trying to get to his room with his pants by his ankles. I cleaned it up, only because I don't totally know where the first aid kit shit is. Anything heavier than bandaids, and I take a good ten minutes to find.
Drunk bitches yelled at me, holding a bottle of vodka.
I was accused of trying to steal Douchebag One and Two from the 'ladies'.
I laughed, almost to the point of hyperventilation. The guys carried the
On a brighter note, my boss brought me in two chocolate bars and a thank you note with a gift card in it for the shit load of hours I worked last week for her.
Chocolate is pretty much the easiest way to my heart.
That and poisoned lip balm.
Happy Chocolate Day, people.
May love fill your hearts, mouths and loins.