Tuesday, 21 February 2012

An Adventure In Becoming A Grown Up, take One

I have never been good at long term goals. Anything that takes a while to get, I tend to lose interest in and find something else to do. I feel like an ADD squirrel most of the time, when I'm not focused on a book or helping someone or working. I have done many great things, but I think it's to balance out the bullshit karma I have. I'm not religious (even though I will pretend for my family come those religious holidays and weddings and funerals. Catholic school taught me well) but I do believe there is something bigger out there than us.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I have stuck to my guns about a few things in life, but I have a lot more fails than wins in my book. This is why this year, I'm writing out what I want to get done with my life. Where I want to go and how I want to start living. Maybe you fine people can help keep me in check. This year is about facing all my demons, about conquering the dragon while finding who I am, again. I've lost myself in the past three years. Twenties are a bitch, I'm finding.

Modelling this after one of my internet heroes, Jen, I'm going to try and post updates about what I want and how I'm going about it. I feel like the things I'm setting for myself this year are reasonable. I'm not looking to become a millionaire, although if that happened I certainly wouldn't turn my nose down at it.
No, there are really only four things I'm aiming to complete this year. I hate that goddamn number, but there's nothing else I really want to do (yet). I have ideas on how I'm going to do it, but nothing is ever concrete. I'm willing to change with the times, go with the flow. So far, though here are my goals for 2012. Not resolutions. Fuck that. These are challenges I'm setting for myself, things I want to and feel like I need to accomplish.

1. Become Fluent in Sign Language
I started taking an intro course in January because I'm too broke to take French (and honestly, I learned nothing in that class. Sign was also 1/3 of the cost and 20000 times more interesting) and my online degree is currently on hold, because I've been hearing some shady things about the University as well I can't afford the classes right now.

Steps I'm Taking So Far
I'm almost done the Intro course, and while I'm still considering continuing with the local college, my instructor suggested I look at the local deaf organization and see about taking their classes, which are more in depth and also give me the hours of training I need to become an Interpreter. Which is my ultimate goal (and will take me about 3 years in total to do)
I emailed the program and am awaiting an email back. I check the site every day to see if they're posting the Spring 2012 classes yet. So far, nothing. Hope I hear back this week.

2. Get Out Of Debt Y'all, I'm a stupid stupid girl. I take full responsibility for this fuckery that is known as my credit rating, and how much debt I'm in. I'm not in a huge whack of debt, but for me, any debt makes my skin crawl a bit. It's also preventing me from doing other things I want, as well, I hate that icky feeling. I know it's a part of life, and I won't ever be truly out of debt, but I want to get my couch paid off, and I want to start saving for a house, and I want to have nothing owing from when I was with D. A lot of the debt I have still, is because of him and his manipulations and my trusting spirit. I have no one to blame but myself, but I don't think I'll ever stop kicking myself for not telling him to buy things on his own. Main things I want to pay off- Dell Computer (600 or 700 dollars), Credit Card (3000) and my couch (1200), and my parents (a lot. 5000 is probably around the mark of what I owe).

Steps I'm Taking So Far
I've paid off another computer D had me get for him, and in two weeks I'll have the money to give to the Dell people. This is the big thing that I need to be held accountable for. I'm not going to put how much I make (although really, you can guess because it's a hotel gig. It's not much but I get by) but I want to start doing a weekly spending wrap up. I think if I start really seeing exactly everything I'm spending money on, I'll either shame myself into stopping or I'll find ways to cut back.

Right now, it's hard because of where I live and how unstable shit is. I'm in the middle of trying to figure out if I'm moving in with someone, or moving home, or being homeless. Instability in the home life fucking sucks, because I have the money to pay off this computer, but I know if I spend it something will happen and I'll be stuck like a fool for money. I hate living pay to pay.

3.Get My Motorcycle License/Get A Motorcycle

Now, before we all point out how contradicting this goal is, let me explain. I grew up in a small town, and my family is intensely into bikes and trucking. It's where my fearlessness of shit comes from. Fun Fact About Me: While I come from a biking family, I have never rode on the back of a motorcycle. Nor will I ever. It has been my dream since I was 16 to get my motorcycle license, but because insurance companies in Canada don't easily insure 16 year old girls for bikes, I stuck with the car license. Here in Ontario, I have to go for a whole new scale of licensing to be legally able to drive a motorcycle. This year, if things with the living situation go the way I think they will (aka I'm moving the fuck back to my parents) I know I'll need this escape. I have my car, true, but there's something to be said for hopping on a bike and just, going. Or so my dreams tell me.

Before I purchase a bike, I will have paid off the computer, my couch and a good portion of my credit card debt. If I haven't, then I won't allow myself to make another huge purchase, even though I'm only looking at used bikes. I'm realistic.

Steps I'm Taking So Far
Looking into motorcycle training courses at the local college. In my Intro to Sign class, there's an older married couple and the husband is actually the instructor for it. I've been picking his ear the best I can and he has me convinced I should take the April 13th weekend course. What this means is by April 13th I'll need to get my M1 license (it's the first step in the graduated license) because at the end of the weekend I'll have my M2. This cost is small compared to a lot of other places I've looked at, and it pays for the M2 exit test. Which is huge.
Trolling sites like Kijiji and the classifieds at work, I'm getting a feel for how much a bike I want is going to run me. I'm talking with my dad about finding a good starter bike for me (no Harley yet...) and hopefully I'll be able to find one within my price range.

4.Start Running Again/Get Back Into Shape
Fun fact: I used to play competitive volleyball. I was a total badass, and at one point in my awesome career I broke some chick's nose with the force of my ball. Not my fault she couldn't block the spike. Anyways, I remember hating a lot about the exercise regime, but I also remember loving running. I know I sucked at it, but I liked getting active. There are parts of my body I want to tone up, want to improve a bit and I want to start being a grown up and not living off of Kit Kats, fast food and pop. This goal is more of a “get healthier before you die” kind of goal, and if I can accomplish goal 3, I'll have a lot of spare time. M1 riders cannot ride during the night time. I'd have to come to work hours before my shift starts, and if I don't use the pool, or have homework, I'd be bored. My solution is to come to work, throw on some running shoes and go for a run around the ghetto before my shift.

Steps I'm Taking So Far
In truth? Nothing. I used to go to the local rec centre and do Aqua Fit every morning (much to the chagrin of the older ladies who were offended by my many tattoos and bikini clad body) but that stopped the month I couldn't afford the monthly fee. I'm looking into getting my membership renewed, and right now with the snow walking outside is hazardous to my health. I'm a huge klutz. So for now, I'm trying to watch what I eat, but I'm not obsessed about it yet. I don't really know where else to turn, but I am now waiting for the snow to go away so goal 3 and 4 can start up.

I hope y'all will be here with me. I know the next month or so is going to be a huge fuckery of things, and I haven't decided if I'm going to just put it all out there, or if I'll be able to handle it.

Right now, though, I am hitting publish and going home to a very excited, very awake niece who just turned four (literally. Today's the kids birthday) and I'm going to curl up and watch Lady and the Tramp with her.

I hope y'all have a good day!
Much love and hugs.



Gia said...

These are good goals! I wish I knew sign language, I'm very impressed by it.

Misty said...

You can do it!! These are definitely valid goals. Once you get on that sign language thing, let me know. I know someone with a sign language book of dirty words. Maybe you can borrow it. I'm sure that will come in handy!! :)

Front Desk Ninja said...

Gia- I love Signing. Honestly, it's an amazing language to learn. I love how passionate it gets and how it involves your entire body, and how you -have- to pay attention to people or you miss certain things.

Misty- Thank you pretty lady! I love that you know a person who has a sign book of dirty words. I went to Chapters to look at their selection and it was stupidly bare. I may check the college bookstore tomorrow, if I wake up in time.

thoughtsappear said...

Soooo...funny story...I'm the person Misty knows with the dirty signing book. =)

I'm learning signing, too. I'm really enjoying it.

Also, I have my motorcycle license. I can't wait to hear about your April class!