Friday, 24 February 2012

Dear Jana, You Ask and You Shall Receive; Or, A Day In The Life of Ninja (at work)

Big Kid decisions are eating at me like red ants ate at that guy's face on Sons of Anarchy, but for now, I'd like to entertain you with a rough “Day in the Life of Ninja At Work”. Obviously dedicated to Jana, who has made several comments about wanting to spend a night with me. In a non sexual way, I'm assuming, but if it's a slow night....




930pm: Wake up. This changes depending on the day, what I do in the morning, if I have night class, but generally on days I have nothing going on or days I babysit I wake up at 930pm.

10Pm: Actually get out of bed. Shower, dress, grab a book or movie for the night in a crotch jinxing moment of stupidity.

1030Pm: Get coffee and/or snack. VITAL that this happens, or my life is ruined and I turn into an uber bitch at work. Funny for you guys, not funny for my regulars.

11Pm: Officially sign in. This involves putting my index finger of my right hand onto a fingerprint scanner, which, the first 1928109 times I had to do it it was fucking amazing and made me feel like I was signing in to be a secret spy or some shit, but now it's just whatever.

11pm-1130pm: Do my rounds. The other shift leaves, I grab the keys and walk around the building, locking up the outside doors (except the front entrance) and grabbing the utilities numbers so I can input them into a spreadsheet. After I secure the doors and get the numbers, I go back to the desk, grab my poor lonely coffee/tea and walk the hallways. There are four. Generally I go down the double hallway first, because it's the most full and has the most activity (normally) and I like to gauge how fucked my night will be. It's also known as Construction Central. Not because there's renovations (let's be real, here) but because all my construction guys stay in those rooms. I tend to walk slowly, so they can't hear me and I pay attention to the different smells and where they are coming from. If it's strong, or doesn't smell like it's almost legal in Canada, I bust them right away. Sometimes I do it while on my rounds, other times I wait and go back to do it. It's a process, and you learn quickly how to approach them. Along my walkaround I check all the doors that should already be locked and if they are, great I move on. If not, I find the right key and lock that shit up. I check the meeting rooms to make sure the patio doors are locked, and the creams/milks are in the fridge. I also normally finish my tea/coffee by the end of my rounds, because I take my sweet sweet time. I almost always have my cellphone on me, and it's almost always playing some music. Partly so people know I'm coming and can scatter from the exits instead of getting caught, and partly so other people make themselves known and I do throw judo chops. True story: happened once. It wasn't a great judo chop, but it scared the guy badly enough. This week I've been playing Ray LaMontagne, because fuck you he's awesome. I love the slowness and he doesn't put me to sleep. Yay music!

1130pm-1230pm: Normally during this time, if it's a quiet night or if I'm just bored, I'll do my audit. I will not bore you with the ridiculous amounts of paperwork I handle, but just assume it's a lot. I can do my audit in my sleep for the most part and on most nights, everything balances. If it's a Month End night, I generally have an extra two hours worth of paperwork to shuffle through and complete. During this time, I also handle the phones, anyone coming in and going to their room, or 'visiting a friend', and I also do any walk-ins that come in off the street and need a room. Normally I see no one, because this is also the time the bars are still open and anyone who wanted to go has already gone and they don't normally come back.

1230pm-2am: I get visitors, in the shape of hot construction men coming back from work, and in the form of cracked out druggies who are so high on shit that I refuse to even start the conversation out politely. See almost all of my posts so far for references on how I handle stupid people. Normally during this time, if I'm going to have a shit night and its going to be busy, I'll feel it during this period. I'll get busy on the phone, a room will flood or I'll get noise complaints from the children coming back from the bars. I handle them with the utmost respect and professionalism, for the most part. I know it may seem like I'm a bitch to all my guests, but I only write about the assholes so far. I have more good guys than toolbags, really. Most of the guys just need the one warning from me to calm the fuck down.

2am-430am: I wish I had something cooler to put here. A typical night involves me sitting at my laptop in my manager's office, watching the window that shows me who is coming into the hotel, and the lobby area. I'll watch t.v. Shows online, read while playing music, watch a movie or study. I've had some friends come by before and hang out with me, while they were on night shift, which is cool. It's never a regular thing though. Normally I snag a chocolate bar from the gift shop, read yesterdays newspapers before I chuck it out. Make sure the lobby and all my data entry for the night is done, normally.

430am-5am: I talk to my boss. Seriously. She can call earlier, but normally in this time frame she'll call. Makes sure that I'm a) alive still and b) still near the desk and not acting like the past audits have. I haven't missed a single call from her. We talk about the day/night, and any plans or things that we have going on. She's pretty fucking awesome, to be honest.

5am-6am: I blog. Or I read blogs, while waving to the construction guys as they leave for the day. Most of them don't check out until today, although we've been getting crews that fuck my shit up and leave earlier in the week. Makes a girl insane when she gets bombarded by all those checkouts, but the men lately have been super hot and super within my age range of attraction, so I don't mind it all too much. After wiping the drool from my mouth, I tend to hang out in the lobby because the effort of getting up and down from the office is pointless.

6am-7am: I double check all the arrivals for the day, close down my laptop and pack up, and do the bulk of the check outs in the morning. Let there be no mistake. During the weekend, the morning shift gets hit with almost all the checkouts. During the week? I do. Construction crews are notoriously early in checking out. Example? Writing this post I've been interrupted four times by the crews needing to check out. Bullshit, I tell you. Once I have everything done for the morning shift, I'll give the restaurant guy the coffee mug from the previous day, unlock the side doors and throw the garbage and recycling out. Then it's just a waiting game until the next shift comes in.

Really, most of my night is just sitting in the office, entertaining myself. I have chores and things I can do, but it's never on a regular basis and they're only five minute tasks. Bulk of my time is spend waiting for something to happen here.

You guys get to read the juicier stuff.

This weekend I have boxes to pack and things to say to people who aren't going to like what I have to say, and I have to learn how to swallow my pride and hopefully I'm making the right choices.

Maybe next time I'll try to include pictures so y'all can feel like you're on the adventure with me.
Happy Friday! 


Gia said...

Oooof. I can't imagine the night shift. Yes, take pics!

Jana said...

As a female in construction, I have seen some of those hotties on my jobsites. Next time you are walking down the hallway, you should put Stuck in Folsom Prison on....nothing like a little Johnny Cash to send them running!

Jana said...

PS - Thank you for thinking about me! :) I promise that I would keep you entertained with my inane chatter

Front Desk Ninja said...

Gia- Alright, next time I decide to write about how boring my shift normally is, I'll take well placed poses and show you the ghetto hotel I work in.

Jana- I've played a LOT of Johnny Cash before. Last week I played nothing but the song "Gods Gonna Cut You Down" while walking the halls. I felt 10000 times more bad ass.

and of course! I'm working on the classes of Whores post. It's taking longer because I'm trying to be all picture friendly. Google can only help a bitch out so much.

Misty said...

Pictures!!! Pic-tures. Pic-tures. Pic-tures. (I am chanting, can you tell?).

Great run down. It does sound like it would get a bit dull in those wee hours of the night. At least you have the whores and the construction hotties to distract you. Love it!

Front Desk Ninja said...

Misty- I will do a picture version later this week, if shit calms down at work (month end and CPR training)

I'm loving how quiet and dull it is right now though.