Let me start out by saying Fuck. This. Bullshit.
I just finished the easiest month end ever, so I'm clearly suspicious and waiting for this place to burn down or someone to come in and demand I perform sexual things on them. Something drastic has to happen every month end, because.... well, it does. Without fail, every Month End has had something go horribly fucking wrong. Normally it's one section, and when it's not that, it's something else. Like my pool flooding, or the power going out. Something.
This month, I thought I was safe. I tricked myself into a stupid sense of comfort.
Month End balanced.
It was nice and easy.
Two hours after I finished it, it occurred to me that it was almost too easy.
Then the heat broke.
So I've been freezing my lady bits for the past four hours, huddled up in this office with (and I shit you NOT) my breath coming out in little puffs like Rose on the wooden door after the Titantic went down.
I thought that was it. I thought that was my big break down of the month, and I ACCEPTED IT.
Next month, someone slap me and tell a bitch it can get worse, because, my friends, IT DID.
The brand new hot tub, which I cannot remember if I've written about yet, but I will if I haven't, basically decided to tell me to bend over and take it tonight.
It's been giving us attitude like a mother fucker all week. Leaking water, not staying warm enough, throwing temper tantrums and then conspiring with the doors in the pool area to not open so I'm stranded from stopping explosions....
Tonight it upped its game.
I am actually impressed with it.
Tonight, it was a sneaky little bitch.
About an hour ago (yes, I fixed it- bandaid on a gun shot kind of fix, but still) I heard this god awful screeching.
Dying cats mixed with battered babies kind of screeching.
Not a sound I hear every night, so I clearly went to investigate like a good little girl.
It was the hot tub. Spraying water against the windows that surround 3/4 of it.
From the parts of the hottub that don't.have.nozzles.
Me, Captain Safety over here, went in to the pool area barefoot, and walking quickly.
Guess who almost fell into the pool?
This chick. (fucking hilarious, btw.I almost want it on tape so someone I know can blackmail me for something later)
So, Captain Safety continued her trek, figured out the problem and tried to solve it by filling the hot tub up with water.
Increased the pressure to the leakage instead.
Ultimately, that bitch is now shut off,
but I'm soaking wet. I look like a wet dog and smell like chemical deliciousness.
Less than an hour to go, at least.