Dear Weekend Hooks,
I'm sorry. I clearly forgot you are an entirely different breed of whore.
I also know I'm a new face to this weekend jive, but let me be clear.
If you ever think us night audits would be okay with you performing your less than mediocore 'blowies' in front of us, in the lobby, where there are actual guests and teenagers who yes, may be looking at porn on our lobby computer (dont think I'm not on to you, punk. I just don't care because you don't have the manballs necessary to whip it out this early in the night), but these are children nonetheless, I will slap you with the thing you're trying to put in your mouth and rip your weave out.
Getting called some very unkind things wasn't really on my list of shit to do tonight, so how's about we lay some ground rules down, okay sweetheart?
Weekend Whore Rules1. You will refrain from stripping in the halls/lobby/common areas.
2.You will not insult the front desk clerks. Unless you want to be evicted.
3. You will NOT solicit yourself in my lobby when your latest score ditched you because (and I QUOTE) "a high school broad could suck it better"
4. Acting like you only do this on the weekends? Fine. Go for it. You and I both know you just find cheaper hotels during the week.
Dearest whores, if you want to keep your room and trick it up, be classy about it.
Or I'll use my pimp hand and slap a 'ho, yo.