Hooker Who Has Been Here Longer Than Me: "Where's your ice machine?"
Me: *dumbfounded* "Where it's always been."
Hooker: "Oh, I never knew that."
What the fuck are you on tonight?
My serious question to you, because I know you're on something, but holy fuck. The three signs in my lobby, plus your vast knowledge of the hotel (albeit, generally just the rooms...) forces me to conclude you're on something super special tonight.
Don't puke or die in my hallway please.