Y'all. I had a post to write about my finances, because I want to stick to a budget and I feel like a bunch of strangers will help keep me in line (as opposed to the shaming I'd deal with for going over from my real life family) but I forgot this was the week that my life was going to motherfucking change.
I can officially save your life.
Well, maybe not save it, but certainly help keep that shit going for 10-20 minutes until properly trained bitches come and take over.
Well, maybe not save it, but certainly help keep that shit going for 10-20 minutes until properly trained bitches come and take over.
CPR Training the beginning of the week was fantastic. I worked Sunday night, and went into CPR Training Monday morning after my shift basically drunk. The instructor,Rod Clugston, was fanfuckingtastic. Seriously. Kept the class awake and alert and engaged us and in the end we are all Level C CPR Certified.
Yesterday I went back to work and practiced signing with the girl who was working, because I wanted to practice and because I needed to stay the fuck awake a bit longer so I wouldn't sleep through the class start time today. I definitely didn't do that, and today was alright. I felt like a regular human, but even now typing this I'm getting sleepy because my body refuses to admit I had enough sleep (and if anyone here tries to tell me that me sleeping for 11 hours isn't enough, I will laugh sprinkles in your face).
ANNNNYway.
Bitches, I won an award.
Yesterday I went back to work and practiced signing with the girl who was working, because I wanted to practice and because I needed to stay the fuck awake a bit longer so I wouldn't sleep through the class start time today. I definitely didn't do that, and today was alright. I felt like a regular human, but even now typing this I'm getting sleepy because my body refuses to admit I had enough sleep (and if anyone here tries to tell me that me sleeping for 11 hours isn't enough, I will laugh sprinkles in your face).
ANNNNYway.
Bitches, I won an award.
The Liebster Award, which took me some googling and effort to figure out what it meant. Essentially, some bad ass chick thinks I'm fucking rad, and wants the small section of internet that we reside in to know about it. I'M HONOURED.
Jana, who I have dedicated an entire post to, nominated this bitch. She's obviously got good taste, and even before this she was welcome to join me for a night of boring babysitting at work. I'd even try to let her pick a weekend night when I saw more whores and drunks than the average hot construction men weeknight. Thank you very much, miss Jana.
Now, there are apparently rules to this award. I've completed one, by thanking the bad ass who gave me the award. Some places I've looked up say three people need to be nominated and raved, some say five. I'm going with three because I'm falling the fuck asleep. Yeah, lazy wins in this case. I'd love to nominate Noa, but I feel like the bitch has more than 200 followers and you can't (shouldn't?) nominate someone with over that number. It's mythical and will generally result in limb loss if you break the rules.
Jana, who I have dedicated an entire post to, nominated this bitch. She's obviously got good taste, and even before this she was welcome to join me for a night of boring babysitting at work. I'd even try to let her pick a weekend night when I saw more whores and drunks than the average hot construction men weeknight. Thank you very much, miss Jana.
Now, there are apparently rules to this award. I've completed one, by thanking the bad ass who gave me the award. Some places I've looked up say three people need to be nominated and raved, some say five. I'm going with three because I'm falling the fuck asleep. Yeah, lazy wins in this case. I'd love to nominate Noa, but I feel like the bitch has more than 200 followers and you can't (shouldn't?) nominate someone with over that number. It's mythical and will generally result in limb loss if you break the rules.
Maybe. I read it on the internet.
Anywhore.
I hereby nominate:
1. Jaclyn from Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. She's one of those bitches I want to be when I grow up, and she writes some funny funny shit. Even when the shit isn't funny, like bodily fluids or poisoning trusting Canadians with lip balm. I blame you for the fact I'm sicker than fuck right now, by the way. Jerk. Love you.
2. Misty, from Misty's Laws. I love me some Misty. She's a lawyer, a momma, a wife and a daredevil with her cellphone taking pictures. I wish to be like her so I could take pictures of the whores and crack addicts. Maybe one day. She's awesome, and I wish it were possible to squish Jaclyn, her and my last nominee into one person and then clone them, and put them into a man's body who miraculously became Canadian and knocked on my door. I would like to think that man would be my version of Prince Charming.
And finally, it shouldn't be much of a surprise, because I featured her in my first Tribute to my Internet Heroes...
3. Jen from "Jen" e sais quoi. This woman, is a fucking bad ass. I want to be her daughter, and have managed to obtain fake adoption papers to make this happen. She's amazing, and so strong and brave and maintains a level of badassery that one day, I want to get to. She's awesome and I love her blog something fierce.
Anywhore.
I hereby nominate:
1. Jaclyn from Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. She's one of those bitches I want to be when I grow up, and she writes some funny funny shit. Even when the shit isn't funny, like bodily fluids or poisoning trusting Canadians with lip balm. I blame you for the fact I'm sicker than fuck right now, by the way. Jerk. Love you.
2. Misty, from Misty's Laws. I love me some Misty. She's a lawyer, a momma, a wife and a daredevil with her cellphone taking pictures. I wish to be like her so I could take pictures of the whores and crack addicts. Maybe one day. She's awesome, and I wish it were possible to squish Jaclyn, her and my last nominee into one person and then clone them, and put them into a man's body who miraculously became Canadian and knocked on my door. I would like to think that man would be my version of Prince Charming.
And finally, it shouldn't be much of a surprise, because I featured her in my first Tribute to my Internet Heroes...
3. Jen from "Jen" e sais quoi. This woman, is a fucking bad ass. I want to be her daughter, and have managed to obtain fake adoption papers to make this happen. She's amazing, and so strong and brave and maintains a level of badassery that one day, I want to get to. She's awesome and I love her blog something fierce.
You should check out all the blogs I've linked, because they are all fantastic. Excellent things to read when you're bored at work and need something to look busy with. Fall in love with them too!
Tomorrow is fucking Month End.
Legitimately, this makes me want to call in sick this month, for no other reason than it's going to be a busy fucking night, and I have missed two nights of hot construction men. I dislike it when things fuck with my routine. Maybe that's why my body is slowly going into sleep mode even though I'm typing.
5 comments:
Thanks, babe! Love you, too. Now I feel all warm and gushy inside. Stop that shit. You're gonna ruin my street cred, yo! :)
Congrats on the award!
That's not a cold, bitch. It's conjunctivitis of the mouth. Yeah. Truth be told, I didn't poison your lip balm. I shit in it.
You see that right there? Bodily secretions AND poisoning joke all in one. That's why this bitch DESERVES this shit.
Love you too, my lovely little Ninja.
Yeahh!!! You deserve it!! You are fucking rad and I get a big ole kick out of reading your blog.
Oh my crap, you actually made this old bitch a little misty-eyed. (See how I brought Misty into the love-fest!) I love you; congrats on your Liebster! :)
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